Antagonisms - i. "you should talk to somebody"
violin, viola, cello, clarinet, bass clarinet, tenor saxophone, horn, trombone, electric guitar, electric bass, piano, 2 percussionists
antagonisms is a three movement ongoing work-in progress dealing with a collection of internal dilemmas I've dealt with in recent years.
The first movement, "you should talk to somebody", is an attempt at unfolding and reflecting on recent up-close-and-personal encounters with generalized anxiety, ones in which I found various "states of mind" to antagonize each other. I noticed that in these states, my perception of the passage of time was enormously skewed, and seemed to oscillate wildly depending on to what extent I'd be thinking about it's passage, and that also that my flow of thoughts was fragmented in such a way that I'd constantly be processing two, three, or four thoughts at the same time, yet only in small, disparate, and incomplete fragments of each, in an order that seemed random. Inhibited from thinking organizedly, I felt like my mind was pitting its own ideas against each other, antagonizing itself, and all I could do to find my way out was attempt to piece together the fragments in real-time.